Dear Friends,

Jeremiah was born in June 2001. Almost two months later, I began keeping a journal. Below is "Jeremiah's Story" and excerpts from my journal. We were living one day at a time and sometimes just moment to moment but God's grace was and is always sufficient.

I hope the information I share with you here touches your heart and helps you know that God can bring you through any hardships you must go through.

Please click here to email me with any questions or prayer request you may have.

In Christ's Love, Angela

Jeremiah's Story

A Changed Face and a Changed Heart

It was June 2001 in the wee hours of an early Sunday morning. Our seventh child made his way into the world, but there was something unusual, something different and very special about this precious little baby boy.

We had six beautiful, healthy children and felt like our family was complete. Then we found out we were expecting number seven. The Lord was choosing to bless us again. The pregnancy was uneventful. The ultrasounds all appeared normal. The doctor had even stated this was a “textbook” pregnancy. We had no reason to suspect that there would be anything abnormal.

The labor was a long and difficult one, but finally our little boy arrived. His back was toward me as the doctor held him. He was a big baby with a head full of dark hair. The first thing I said was, “Can I see him?” The doctor responded to my question, “Now, Angela, he is not going to look exactly like what you expected. He has a cleft lip.” My emotions were a jumble at that moment. I was hurt, confused, shocked, and yet somehow not shocked. I looked at my husband. I could see the confusion on his face. He said, “What did he say, a cut lip?” I tried to explain. I said, “You need to go look at him.” The doctor handed him to a nurse, but I still had not seen my precious little baby’s face. As Dino gazed at our little son, the look of hurt on his face broke my heart. The tears streamed down my cheeks. Dino came back to my bedside and held my hand. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. We just looked at each other with the tears flowing down our cheeks.

It was a difficult time for both of us. Our doctor prayed with us, and one nurse who was also a personal friend of mine began to reassure us that everything would be okay. After they cleaned Jeremiah up, the nurse handed him to me to hold and to see his little face for the first time. He was all wrapped up in blankets and a hat. I immediately began to pull the blankets away from his face. He was different – so different from the other six babies I had held in my arms, yet he was like them, too. His left nostril was stretched flat and tight across the cleft. I touched his tiny precious lips. They were beautiful, just not exactly in the right place. How desperately I wanted to ease the tension on his nostril and fix him. The pain in my heart was incredible because there was absolutely nothing I could do for him. The odd thing to me was realizing that to him there was nothing wrong. He just seemed to gaze in wide eyed wonder at his surroundings. Yes, he was different, but I knew I loved this precious baby. I knew he was incredibly special!

My Heavenly Father was with me in those difficult moments, and I was very much aware of His presence; but even so my emotions were all mixed. I was grateful for my precious little son, but at the same time I was overwhelmed with pain. For a fleeting moment I felt very insecure. I looked at my husband and asked him, “Are you still going to love him?” He responded immediately, “Yes, I love him!” How dumb my question seems now, but how insecure I felt then. I don’t remember every word, but Dino was strong for me. He told me it was okay, and it would be all right. He said, “He is ours and we love him.” Those words I will never forget.

The doctor and nurses finished up what they had to do and left the room. After spending some time with Jeremiah and me, Dino, too, left to go home and be with our other children. Now it was just Jeremiah, God, and me. God is big. I held my baby and sang to him. The hymns I had been memorizing since our revival at church in April became a calm in the turmoil of my emotions. As I sang the words to The Solid Rock, He Hideth My Soul, and Our Great Savior, my voice broke with emotion, but I began to feel the grace of God carry me through. Love for my baby and for God filled my heart. Hot tears ran down my cheeks again and the words came out choked, but I knew that God had a plan and a purpose even then. Those moments will be forever etched into my mind. It was a very special time.

The remainder of our time at the hospital is a little more blurred in my mind now. There were many phone calls and visitors. Early on that Sunday morning before most people knew our news, Dino brought our other children to see Jeremiah. I was so worried about their reaction. I was afraid they might not bond with him. That was a very silly worry. The youngest child showed no indication that anything was wrong. Some of the others cried silent tears, and one just smiled and smiled; but they all held him lovingly. Each one wanted a turn to hold him. It was a very happy time and a very sad time. I was touched greatly by all of it. I quickly realized that I was not the only one who loved this little boy. I knew I had been very silly to worry about them bonding with him.

Before leaving the hospital I had begun the long tedious job of pumping milk that I would continue over the next eight months. We tried several bottles at the hospital finally settling on the Haberman Feeder. This bottle required a very long time to feed him. We were somewhat overwhelmed with everything. I alternated from smiling to crying, yet deep inside God’s peace was still in my heart because I knew that He was sovereign over everything.

When we left the hospital, it seemed to hit me all over again. I tried so hard to hold it together but the tears came again. I couldn’t help it. The tears just wouldn’t stop. Dino again was very strong for me. He reassured and encouraged me and helped me get it back together. He stopped at a florist shop and a friend there fixed us a blue bow for the mailbox. He was proud of his little boy. After getting home events blurred in my mind. We had appointments starting almost immediately. I was pumping every four hours around the clock. Feeding him was taking an incredibly long time. He was losing weight, and I was exhausted. People brought meals, and people prayed. God used other Christians to meet our needs financially and emotionally. Some days I felt as if I was not going to get through the day. I lived in a “survival mode” just focusing on what it would take to get through that one day. But God was faithful, and His grace was sufficient even though sometimes it was moment by moment. We truly felt God’s love through others.

At five days old Jeremiah made his first visit to the Craniofacial Clinic. These circumstances had moved us way out of our comfort zone and into a whole new world– a world we had not really been aware of before. On this first visit we saw many specialists. We were taught how to tape Jeremiah’s lip to prepare him for a later lip closure surgery. He was given a much more efficient bottle called a Pigeon bottle. The only problem was that the nipple would periodically collapse. We combined the nipple system from the Pigeon with the Mead Johnson Cleft Palate Disposable Nurser. This combination caused the bottle to collapse instead of the nipple. He could regulate the flow of milk himself instead of us squeezing the milk into his mouth. Using this system he now began to gain weight.

At twelve days old Jeremiah had a gagging spell. I called Dino home from work when the spell continued to last. It continued intermittently for over 20 minutes. We called the emergency room, and they told us to take him to his pediatrician if he was breathing okay. I cried silent tears all the way there. I was so afraid that something would happen to my precious baby. All I could do was pray, “Dear God, please let my baby live. Please don’t let anything happen to him. I love him so much.” Over and over I prayed. He had stopped gagging by the time we got there. We had to see a doctor on call. He said he probably had reflux and to keep him propped up 30 minutes after each feeding. I knew this was not the case. At birth the back of his soft palate was joined just a little. Sometime between his first visit to the Craniofacial Center and subsequent visits the tissue somehow ripped. I believe this is when it happened.

After more visits to the Craniofacial Center, his Pediatric doctor, the Ear, Nose, and Throat group, and the Heart Center, he was finally ready for his first surgery. At eight weeks old Jeremiah underwent the surgery to place the appliance into his mouth that would bring his gums closer together. He also had tubes put into his ears. The day before his surgery I took a whole roll of film of him. That nagging fear that my baby might not wake up tugged at my heart. My church had a special time of prayer for Jeremiah the Sunday prior to his surgery. God’s grace took us through this time. His surgery was difficult for him. His pale little face was grimaced in pain when they brought him back to us. I was not prepared for this. My heart was breaking for my baby. The appliance was placed into his gums with stainless steel pins, and it rubbed a large painful blister on his tongue making it difficult for him to take his bottle. We had to syringe feed him for a short time. He cried and I cried. Dino helped so much during that first week after his surgery. Feeding him was traumatic, yet he was very hungry. Finally, after a little over a week the blister began to toughen up and the feedings got easier.

I had begun to keep a journal of my thoughts, feelings, and prayers. It also included letters to my little son that one day I will give to him. Several of these journal entries express the way I felt during that time.

August 5, 2001 – Oh my little Jeremiah, how my heart just breaks and breaks for the pain you feel right now. I would take it for you if I could. God will take us through this. He has a purpose and a plan. No, right now I don’t understand, but I know I must trust Him. I love you, little boy. I love you very, very much!

August 8, 2001 – My little Jeremiah, you are smiling again! How I treasure your special smile. It is so beautiful to me. In a little over a month your smile will be like everyone else’s. We are glad that your lip will be repaired, but I just want you to know how precious you are to me just the way you are today. I am so glad that your pain seems to be gone. I love you. You mean so much to me.

August 28, 2001 – Father, I love little Jeremiah so much. He is so very precious to me. The sadness and hurt over his cleft lip and palate run so deep. Why? I don’t know why. I know in my head that You allowed it to happen for a loving purpose and will use it for good. I know You will give him the grace to deal with everything. I know you are here with us even now helping us through it all. Why then the unexplainable sense of deep sadness and the deep sense of loss? I wish so much I could take away his pain from each procedure. Make him so strong for You, O God. Please, God, let my baby live and serve You. Why do I have a fear of losing my precious little son? You gave him to me. I must trust You.

September 1, 2001 – Oh, how splendid it feels to write September for the date. My mind has longed for fall this year! Probably because I knew we would be so much closer to Jeremiah’s being “fixed” and past his first two surgeries. I have always loved summer, but this year fall has been my heart’s desire.

Time had seemed to move so slowly in many ways. Yet looking back now it seems it was only a very short time. Finally, the day came for his lip closure surgery. He was now about three months old. I wanted his lip repaired, but I hated for him to have to go through more surgery. I was excited that his lip would be repaired, but I also knew that my precious little boy, whom I had come to love and cherish just the way he was, would forever be different. The mixture of emotions was very odd and hard to explain. When they rolled Jeremiah back from surgery on that big stretcher, he looked so tiny. The tears rolled down my cheeks again. I was happy. I was sad. I had gained a beautiful new little face but I had also lost a precious little face that I loved. The recovery room nurse looked at me funny, but I didn’t even try to explain. I’m not sure that I completely understood myself. I was so relieved for Jeremiah to be through the surgery, but I also hurt for him. I knew that the next week or so would be tough. Amazingly this surgery seemed to be less traumatic than his first one, and he seemed to recover much faster also.

Jeremiah’s plastic surgeon had explained that he would not be straightening Jeremiah’s nose at this time; however, his nose looked great after the surgery. The nostril was very round. I did not realize that it would shift back over toward its original position during the healing process. Skin stretches, but I had not considered this fact. As that begin to happen over the next week or so, I became concerned and alarmed. Also his lip was very peaked at the suture line. This was because as he grows it will naturally come down. If it had not been peaked it would possibly come down too far later. This was another fact I did not know at the time. Jeremiah’s lip had stitches on the inside and outside but was closed mostly with skin glue on the outside. This peeled off after a week or two. The doctor also connected his gums just a little during this surgery, and the appliance was removed.

Four days after the surgery one of Jeremiah’s arm restraints came off during the night. He pulled one stitch under his nose with a clump of glue that was coming off. I felt terrible about this. The next day he had a nosebleed from the left nostril. I became so upset that I was almost sick. I felt like I was not doing a good job taking care of him. I thought his left nostril was shifting because of the pulled stitch on his lip. We called the doctor’s office and told them about the nosebleed. They told us just to keep our appointment scheduled four days later. The doctor reassured us that Jeremiah was doing great and healing normally.

More journal entries record more of my thoughts and feelings.

October 14, 2001 – My dearest little Jeremiah, you are four months old now and getting to be a big little baby. You fill my heart with so much joy. I love you so very much! How incredibly glad I am that I have you. I wouldn’t have missed you for the world! So many things have been different with you than with the other six. Nights have been harder with not much sleep. Feeding you has been different and so many other little things, but it has been worth it all. I would do it all over again for you because you are so special to me (and to your daddy and that’s no secret). There have been so many good things that I did not expect from you being born with a cleft lip and palate. I felt so crushed and hurt right after your birth because I wanted you to be what the world calls “normal.” I did not want you to have to go through any physical or emotional pain. As time goes on, I am beginning to see some of the good. I knew in my heart even then that God had a purpose for this, but I had to have time to except it in my head also. You have been through so much physical pain already for a four-month-old baby, but you have done excellent! You are a happy, good-natured, baby. You adapted quiet well to each change and procedure. Already you always have a smile for others.

The first Saturday that I went to the grocery store alone after you were born I cried. I cried almost all the way to the store. I was wishing – wishing you could have been “okay”. Suddenly I realized how futile this was and said to myself, “I cannot live in an ‘I wish’ world. I must live in reality.” I knew that God had allowed this for a purpose, but the purpose seemed so obscure to me. God then impressed this thought on my heart, “If you knew what I am going to accomplish through this, you would not wish for him to have been born ‘okay’. In fact, if he had been born ‘okay’ and you knew what could have been accomplished through his being this way you would have wished for him to be this way.” Then the words to part of a hymn went through my mind – “It will be worth it all when we see Christ.” This was the beginning of my peace. This confirmed to me that God allowed you to be created very special because He has a very important purpose for you and for your life. I look forward to seeing what God is going to do. Even before you were born, God impressed on my heart a name for you. The meaning was so significant - though at the time I did not realize just how significant. Jeremiah means appointed of Jehovah, and Mark means hammer. I believe that one of the purposes of your cleft and the care and treatment that go with a cleft is to begin to hammer or chisel away the rough edges of our family and to build Christ-like character in us. I believe God appointed you for this task through your condition. Since your birth, we have begun to see our true condition in God’s eyes. We are beginning to see how much we need God and how far away from Him we really are. We are beginning to learn to trust Him more – day by day and moment by moment. We are learning compassion for others, not to judge, to re-evaluate priorities, to realize that grace is only for the day – for the present - and tomorrow’s grace will come tomorrow. We are learning that God is what holds all things together not sheer determination to do or be a certain way. We are beginning to learn humility. There are two things I want to tell you more about later. First, I want to tell you about the world’s logic and how they seem to be right at times but how God’s thoughts and ways are not like ours. His ways are right even when they don’t seem right. God’s ways are higher and better. Second, I want to tell you about how I thought I had given my all to God including my children. I still have so much to learn. For now I will close and go to bed. One day, Jeremiah, I want to make a journal for you, a book recording all your progress with pictures but more importantly a record of what God does through it all. I love you!!!! I am so very glad you are part of my life. Each one of my precious children has added so much to my life.

October 27, 2001 - If people only knew what I feel on the inside but don’t have adequate words to express, they would know how blessed I am to have my little Jeremiah! He brings me so much joy. He has changed my whole perspective on life. I have made the mistake of taking my children for granted up until now. Not only do I love them, but now I also appreciate them in a whole new way…

I have a new compassion for others. One day I want to somehow reach out to help other parents and children who have had to deal with some type of birth defect or problem. I never knew the range of emotions a person could go through until now. I have gone from tremendous heartache and sadness to incredible joy and love. The oddest part of this is the deep sense of sadness yet the unexplainable love and sense of joy with peace that can occur simultaneously.

Here is the hard one so far: The “world” looks on and you can almost hear them say, “She’s too old to still be having babies. Didn’t she know that at age 35 the risk of having a baby with a birth defect is greater? Why didn’t she stop after the sixth one? She shouldn’t have had so many children, then all of this wouldn’t have happened. She didn’t have the right to have that baby. She was selfish.” But no matter what they say, God says His ways and thoughts are higher and different than ours. They will never know what joy and blessing God has brought to our family through Jeremiah. I can’t wait to see what God will do through his life in the future.

When Jeremiah was almost five months old we began to feed him cereal and then gradually began to add homemade baby food. This helped with the amount of milk he was taking each day. He had begun to take more than I could pump, and what I had in the freezer was slowly being depleted. The food did come out his nose, so we bought an infant feeder which greatly decreased that problem. Again, the journal entries are a record of the way I felt.

December 11, 2001 - Oh my precious little Jeremiah, you are now six months old. Things have gotten a little bit easier. You are on a very consistent routine. You get up about 5:00A.M. You take about 8 oz. of milk followed by 4-6 oz. of homemade baby food. Then you take a short mid-morning nap. About 11:00A.M. you eat lunch (8 oz. milk and 4-6 oz. food). An afternoon nap is taken around 2:00P.M. Supper is at around 4:00P.M. (8 oz. milk and 4-6 oz. food.) I only pump 4 times a day now. We both sleep at night now. Day after tomorrow is your palate closure. You seem to be getting a cold today. I must entrust you into God’s hands. I wish I could stop you from feeling the pain. May God bless, protect, and hold you through this surgery. I love you.

December 13, 2001 - Jeremiah’s surgery was scheduled for 11:00A.M. They took him back early at 9:30 A.M. He never even got hungry this time. He was allowed to have breast milk up to 8:00 A.M. because the surgery was supposed to be at 11:00 A.M. They brought him back to his room at 12:00 noon. Jeremiah was extremely puffy looking all over. The palate closure was successful, and his doctor also did a little more work on his gums. He told us Jeremiah still might need a little more work on them later. Jeremiah was admitted to a regular room after this surgery due to possible airway obstruction that can occur post operatively from swelling. He was placed on oxygen to increase his oxygen saturation levels. He had an IV as he did with the other surgeries. He seemed to respond better to the pain medicine this time. However, he stayed pretty groggy. I was quite relieved to have all these surgeries past and my baby back in my arms. I felt like once we got passed the healing time on this last surgery we would be able get life back to normal.

December 14, 2001 – Jeremiah, your surgery (palate closure) is over now, and we are back at home. Oh, how good God is. He brought you through, and you are doing well. They said this one would be pretty difficult, but you are doing better than you did on your first surgery.

I had dreaded this surgery so much, hoping for the best but trying to prepare myself for the worst. I truly had to come to the place where I opened my hand to God. I know that you truly belong to God and are only on loan to me to love and to take care of. I never want to loose you and facing that possibility was hard. But I can say that I would rather have any of my children for a little while than not to have had them at all, yet I hope to have you all for a long while.

My heart is filled with gratefulness to God for you and for bringing you through this surgery. I love God. I love you.

One special insight from this evening: God knew you from the beginning of time. He knew He was going to create you with a cleft. Why, because He has a very special purpose and plan for you, for your life. A person who never had a cleft would not be able to fulfill this job that God has for you. You didn’t have a cleft because something just didn’t happen to go right. You had a cleft because you are very special to God, and He has you set aside for a purpose. God could have chosen any family to put you in, but He chose ours. How grateful I am. We are honored! We are!

December 18, 2001 - Jeremiah went for his post-op check. He was doing very well. Jeremiah had started sucking his bottle. His palate had not had enough time to heal yet. I was concerned but, of course, could not explain to Jeremiah not to do this yet. His doctor said it was okay and that we could switch to a regular bottle and to a spoon. He said we could also discontinue the welcome sleeves (arm restraints) and just watch him closely. Then came the good news, “You don’t need to come back until he is two unless you need me to hold your hand,” laughed the doctor. Our hearts were happy. God was so good. Our little boy was doing well. The thick stitches in the roof of his mouth would eventually dissolve. We felt as if we were ending one section of our journey and beginning the next.

Because this point felt like such a milestone for us I again included the journal entry that expressed my heart.

December 18, 2001 – How happy I am today. We took you back for your post-op check with Dr. Burstein. You are doing well. You are sucking your bottle now, and he said that was okay. We stopped on the way home and bought you some regular nipples. You did pretty well, but you got tired with them. I let you try your sippy cup at supper and you did very well with it. I may just let you go straight to a sippy cup. I also tried to nurse you today but that did not work well. At supper you also ate with a spoon and did great. All this is going to take practice to build back up to the amount you used to eat and drink, but you are making wonderful progress.

Dr. Burstein said you don't have to come back to see him until you are two years old. At that time he will send you to the speech therapist and have your speech evaluated. Depending on the evaluation three things could take place - you will be fine, get speech therapy, or have a little more surgery on your palate. After that you won't have anything until around school age when you will have a lip and nose revision. Some time after this you will have a bone graft and more work on your gums. Following this, there will probably be some extensive orthodontic work.

There are so many things I want to tell you about. I hope I don't forget them before I have time to write them down for you. My grammar and punctuation are not all correct because I am typing as fast as I can and don't have a lot of time to go back and correct it right now. I just want to get the basic ideas down and I will try to refine all this later. I want to put it all into a little journal type book for you with pictures. I want you to know how big God is! I want you to love and serve Him with all your heart and soul and life. He has a very big plan and purpose for your life. Never be bitter about being born with a cleft. Learn to trust God even when you don't understand ahead of time. Learn to lean on Him in the bad times and the good times. Faith and trust and genuine love are three of the most important things you could ever learn. Faith and trust go hand in hand, and genuine love is the greatest force on earth. I love you. You are so precious to me.

March 28, 2002 - …Father, thank you for bringing me out of the dark valley that lasted about 8 months after Jeremiah was born. He is so precious to me. It was so difficult to see him go through so much. He is so cute now, and I cannot imagine my life without him. You have truly renewed my strength… Some nights I go to bed wondering why I am not tired. Every now and then I feel tired, but usually I feel good even at bedtime. God, You are so good to me. I love You.

April and May passed quickly. There were other journal entries- thoughts, feelings, prayers and letters to my little son. June and his first birthday were here before we knew it. We were grateful for the year to be behind us and so grateful for our little boy. A final journal entry records those thoughts.

June 3, 2002 – My precious little Jeremiah, today is your first birthday. We have had an incredible and special year together. I cannot put down in words the emotions that fill my soul. I may never understand or be able to explain the tears that come with the incredible sense of joy and wonder that fills my heart as I think over the past year. You are a priceless treasure! All seven of my precious children are. Never again will I take any of you for granted. How grateful to God I am for each of you. You have added so much to our lives. Through your life God has shown us a new depth of love we had never known before. Your brothers and sisters love you incredibly! They have given of their time and energy and even money – not because they were asked but because they wanted to.

Jeremiah, they have been so excited for your birthday to get here. They were more excited about your birthday than their very own. The girls bought all your decorations and plates, etc. Katie made your cake. Together they wrapped your presents. All your brothers and sisters bought you presents with their own money. No one told them to; they just wanted to do it because they love you. It has touched my heart to see them give sacrificially from their heart.

The unusual circumstances of your birth brought stress into our family that God allowed so that we could see a truer picture of what we were really like on the inside. Proverbs 24:10 says, “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.” But over the last year I have seen the development of character qualities in our family. I have seen love, giving to the needs of others without expecting anything in return. We still have a long way to go, but God is beginning a work in our family that He will continue until the day of Jesus Christ (Phil 1:6). I cannot imagine life without you. You have been a wonderful blessing in our lives this past year. I praise and thank God for you. My heart is overwhelmed with an incredible sense of gratefulness. There are no words to describe all that is in my heart! How I love you, and how I love our great God!

June 2003 – It has been a wonderful year since Jeremiah’s last birthday. There are many times I should have written and there has been so much to record, but I didn’t for lack of time. How precious my little boy is. His speech is good, his vocabulary is great, he is very socialable and loves interacting with other people. He has a ready smile for everyone. He is a stout little boy and loves to copy Josiah. Levi is very compassionate with him as he is with everybody for the most part. The girls still adore him and baby him probably more than they should. He loves it, and treats Katie like a second mama. He loves Danny very much though he doesn’t see him very much of the day. He holds his daddy’s heart and His daddy holds his. He hugs him very tight every night with all the sound effects and says, “Goo nigh Da Da. I wuv you.” He is truly a God given sunshine in our life. There has never been anything that bonded our family together so much as this little boy. We truly rejoice in the Lord for truly He makes no mistakes!

June 2004 - Jeremiah is now three years old. He is a happy child with a bright countenance. He fills our hearts with love and joy. Our lives would not be the same without his smiling little face. Yes, his face was changed, but it was our hearts that were really changed. Life is different now, and though I would have never chosen to walk down this path, I see it as a blessing now. It is a blessing because it drew me closer to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It drew me closer to the One Who is my strength and my life.

July 05, 2005 - Jeremiah celebrated his fourth birthday on June 3, 2005. He is still a very happy child that loves and enjoys life to the fullest. He has learned to ride his bike with training wheels and loves to play with his older brothers and sisters. He is eagerly learning to write his name and much more.

July 20, 2005 - Jeremiah had his fifth surgery. He had a lip and nose revision and had two baby teeth removed. The swelling after surgery was greater than we had expected. Because of the swelling we were unable to see the progress from the surgery for almost a week. We had to keep reminding ourselves that it had to look worse before it would look better.

Now at only two weeks after surgery, Jeremiah looks great. The stitches are out and only a little redness remains at the incision area around his nose. We are greatly encouraged and grateful to God for bringing him through another surgery with good success. He is truly a blessing to our family!

June 2006 - Jeremiah turns five years old this year and it has been a fairly uneventful year with just normal doctor visits, check-ups, and speech therapy.

Jeremiah, you are doing great and have made wonderful progress. We watch you grow and change each year and are continually amazed at God’s goodness to us. We love you very much!

June 3, 2007 - Six years ago today the tears flowed freely down my face. My heart felt as if it would break. Today, however, my heart overflows with gratefulness and joy. I am rejoicing in what God has done. I praise Him for His goodness and the perfectness of His plan. He makes no mistakes.

In our humanness and with our limited vision we tend to see everything only as it appears for the moment. We many times are unable to see the bigger picture of what God has in store for us. But when we wait with patience, trust, and faith, He unfolds His divine plan for us. He begins to show us moment by moment His grace and strength He has made available to us.

Six years ago Jeremiah was born with a severe cleft lip and palate. Today five surgeries later he is a fine, handsome boy. Though Jeremiah still has a few more surgeries to go, we marvel at what God has done. The change in his physical appearance, however, is not the greatest marvel. The change that God has brought about in all of us has been the greatest marvel.

Our family has learned together many things. We have learned to take nothing for granted and to appreciate the “small” things. We have learned to look for the blessings in everything realizing that even the hard things can work for our good. We have learned that God makes no mistakes and that our human understanding is usually very limited. We have learned how much we love each other and that relationships are much more important than circumstances or possessions. One of the most important lessons that we have learned is that life is not about me and not about my happiness. There is something far greater than my own personal happiness.

The greatest thing in life is to glorify God and that brings the greatest joy. Joy is something far more wonderful than happiness. Happiness is based on circumstances and whether or not things are going my way. Joy is a condition of the heart, soul, and spirit that has nothing to do with me getting my way. Our family has learned the meaning of joy.

When we look into the face of our precious little Jeremiah, we are overwhelmed with gratefulness and joy. We didn’t choose this path, but we rejoice in God’s plan for our family. We marvel at the miracle of life and health in each of our children, but Jeremiah’s life has touched and blessed us all beyond measure. Thank you, Jesus, for our precious little boy! Thank you for six beautiful wonderful years of enjoying the preciousness of a life that has changed our hearts.

June 2010 - The years continue to fly by. Jeremiah is now nine years old and is still an incredible blessing to our family. He loves to hike, camp, swim, and ride his bike with his siblings. He will soon undergo a bone graft surgery which will be one of his last surgeries. He may require one final surgery when he is finished growing, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, Jeremiah will continue with his orthodontic work, but most of the surgeries should be behind us. We rejoice at God's goodness to us. He has truly carried us through.

If you are reading this story, may I ask you this question? Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? Without knowing Him as your Lord and Savior, He cannot be your strength and your life. If you know about God and you have heard about Jesus but there has never been a time in your life when you realized your need for Jesus to be your Savior, may I explain it in a little more detail?

First, every person must realize that they he or she is a sinner. We have all fallen short of God’s holy standard. None of us have been able to perfectly keep His laws. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” We can read the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20:3-17. We have all broken at least one of these and probably more.

Second, every person must realize and accept the fact that as a sinner he or she owes a penalty for his or her sin. The Bible tells us in Romans 6:23 that “the wages of sin is death…” The word death in this verse means eternal separation from God. If we pay what we owe as sinners, we must spend eternity in the lake of fire (hell).

But third is the good news. Every person must come to the point of realization that Jesus Christ has already paid his or her sin debt. God put all our sin on Christ as He hung on the cross and died in our place. God punished Him in our place to pay the debt we owe. Romans 5:6,8 tells us that “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly…But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” You can also read John 3:16 and 2 Corinthians 5:21 if you have a Bible. You may wonder how Christ was able to take our punishment for us. It is because He is perfect and totally without sin. As the only begotten Son of God, He is fully God and yet He was fully man. He was tempted like we are and had feelings and emotions like we do, but He never sinned.

Fourth, you must accept by faith what Jesus did for you. It is not enough just to have this knowledge in your head. You must believe it in your heart. What you believe you will act upon. To believe in Jesus Christ means that:

But it means going one step further also. It means that you will trust Him completely to get to Heaven – that you will depend on Him for everlasting life. John 3:36 says, “he that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.” Romans 10:9 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

God promised that the moment you believe that, you no longer are condemned but you now have everlasting life. Read John 5:24. If there has never been a particular time when you realized these things and ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, then you could pray a prayer something like the following: “Dear Lord Jesus, I realize that I am a sinner and that because of my sin I deserve to pay a penalty of eternal separation from God. But I do believe that You paid this debt for me through Your death on the cross. I believe that as the only begotten Son of God your conquered death and rose again on the third day. Today, the best I know how, I repent of my sins, and I trust You as my Savior. I now depend on You for my salvation. I choose to surrender my life to You and let You be ‘boss.’ Live through me that I might live a godly life. Be my Savior and the Lord of my life.” (It is not the actual prayer that saves you, but it is believing in what Jesus did for you; it is faith in Him as the only way to God. Your prayer just verbalizes what you believe in your heart.)

If you just prayed this prayer and really meant it in your heart, then you are now God’s child. You can know for sure now where you will spend your eternity. Get a Bible and began to read and study it for yourself. Find a church where the Word of God is taught clearly and fellowship with other believers. May the Lord bless you and keep you and be your strength and your life.

If you have other questions or would like to let us know about your decision please click here to email me. We would love to hear from you.

In Christ's Love, Angela